Call me basic millenial woman in the fall exhibit A, but I just want COZINESS. I want to be cold enough that it requires layers, and if those layers involve a large sweatshirt and maybe a cozy sock, all the better. I have already begun ending my days with a hot tea (it’s still 90, it’s fine, I’m fine). I’ve got homemade chicken stock on my to-do list, and I’m already thinking about Thanksgiving. I currently have zero candles, which is just bizarre and not okay, so I need to rectify that immediately in the name of fall.

Ambient lighting aside, I’m trying to get my ducklings in a row over here before we head out to Idaho for my sister’s wedding. I’m MOH, and true to moniker, I am honored. I’m also doing all the rehearsal dinner flowers- I’m so excited. It’s going to be gorge. I feel like Franc from Father of the Bride.

My little sister is 8 years younger than me, and that might sound like a lot to some people, but we are really best friends. We have been through so much, I could write a novel. You should see my concept-mapping I did for my MOH speech- only to pretty much scrap it all, haha. Speeches really are one of those areas where simple is best, and it’s so easy to overthink that, especially as a writer. My sister delivered the most heartfelt speech at our wedding. I only hope to return the favor. I think it’s one of the few times it’s appropriate to hope for tears on a mass scale.

On the pre-travel to do is deep cleaning the ever-loving heck out of our house because my mother-in-law will be generously Greg & Lou sitting for us while we’re away. My house isn’t in a bad state, per se, it’s more like, when you know you’re not going to be around to distract someone from baseboard lint with your dazzling conversation, you want to tighten things up just a little bit more, know what I’m saying?

I had a grand to-do list in my head for last weekend that I had to accept at a certain point wasn’t going to get done, and that’s okay. Normally, this would stress me out and kind of ruin my days leading up to a trip, but I’ve been trying to loosen my grip on things such as these. Maybe my house doesn’t pass the white glove test in every zone, but we did get to fellowship with some people from church this weekend, we hosted a dinner, and TBH, that’s way more important. I also took a nap, which is something I’ve only started doing this year…You’d think these things wouldn’t take precedence but I’m lucky I’m with someone who has shown me that allowing those things to take precedence really clears the runway to be my most on-point, supportive, host-y, honorable-maiden-worthy-self, and have the frame of mind to get what needs to get done, done.

In the same vein as this perspective check, I always remind myself when I bristle at having people in my home because “x, y, and z” in my own mind aren’t “up to par” that, for years, I was dying to host. Dying to welcome people and celebrate. For a lot of my 20’s, my circumstances were not in the most host-worthy state, and I used things like styling and cooking and developing recipes to help cultivate that “host-y” environment I grew up with and missed. If I couldn’t physically invite people into my home and give everything I wanted to give in its true fullness, then at least I could cook and make my environment look like somewhere you’d invite people into. I’m 34 now, and while it makes me sad to type that, thinking of my former self, I now see the roadmap from there to here.

That time of discomfort cultivated a heart that was more than ready to bring people into my home and serve when the time came. Ben and I host as much as we can. There is something about hearing that people feel taken care of in my home that is deeply fulfilling, because we really don’t take it lightly. Making our home somewhere of respite for others is a huge goal of ours. Is it always easy? Not necessarily. We are both of the worldview that we are meant to celebrate with those who celebrate and weep with those who weep- meaning to serve in all seasons, and not just when it is convenient and looks or feels good. Just like cooking or making a home or any skill, I feel like both hosting and being hospitable are skills honed over a lifetime, and I’m absolutely open to improvement, in all the ways, haha. I also find that these skills are transferable. You take them with you. In addition to rehearsal dinner and Sunday brunch looks, I’ll be throwing my proverbial serving uniform in one of ye olde packing cubes. I feel so grateful that Ben and I are truly a team, and we are able to step up for the ones we love, and be of support and help however we can- no matter on how small a level we are able to provide.

Speaking of providing comfort (I had to reach down real deep for that segué)- this grilled cheese has all the makings of the classic comfort sammie we know and love, but it arrived just a tad more dressed up for the occasion than usual.

A few things set this sandwich apart from the garden variety GC…

A seasoned butter spread on the outside of good sourdough. Oddly, this is one thing I took and kept from my childhood grilled cheese making. I say oddly, because I was a nightmare of a cook as a child, but boy, did I have passion. Anywho, a softened butter seasoned with salt, pepper, paprika, garlic and onion powder on the outside of the sourdough infuses it with garlic bread-adjacent vibes, and makes it so that you don’t need to add any additional butter to your pan when you grill your GC.
3 cheeses. I used extra sharp cheddar, white cheddar and gouda (also a little sprinkling of parmigiano reggiano).
Fig jam. This year, our fig tree finally started producing enough figs for both the squirrels AND us, hah. We were able to harvest around 100 in total and quite a few batches of fig jam were made. This is such a delicious addition to this grilled cheese. The fruitiness and lightness of the fig jam plays so well with the cheeses. However, with all this richness going on, we need a little acidity, which brings me to my next point…
Dijon aioli, pickles, & red onion. These 3 bring the acidity, a hint of spice and a touch of crunch.
Bacon. I don’t need to expand on this one.

Normally, when I’m making a grilled cheese, I’m thinking “but what am I going to have WITH the grilled cheese”, and while I’m not saying go side-less, these five elements really make this grilled cheese balanced in a way that allows it to stand all on its own.

Grilled Cheese with Fig Jam, Bacon & Pickles

(Makes 2 sandwiches)

6 slices bacon

4 slices sourdough bread

4 T butter, room temperature

1/4 t onion powder

1/4 t garlic powder

1/4 t paprika

3 T mayo

1 t dijon mustard

1 T fig jam

1 cup melting cheeses of your choice ( I used extra sharp cheddar, gouda, and white cheddar), shredded

1/2 red onion, thinly sliced

A few pickle spears, sliced

1 1/2 cups arugula

Mix the spices with softened butter, along with a sprinkling of salt and pepper.
Mix the mayo and dijon and spread on one slice of bread.
Spread the fig jam on the other slice. Top with some of the cheese.
Layer on pickles, red onions, bacon, and top with more cheese, and place a generous handful of arugula atop the other slice.
Assemble and grill over medium heat for about 2/3 minutes, until bread is golden and cheese is melting. Flip, and grill 2-3 minutes more.

That’s it. As comforting as they come, with just a few minor beautifications. With that, I’m off to get packing- fingers crossed there’s not a cat in my packing cubes.